The importance of KINFOLK

The importance of KINFOLK

An old friend of mine use to talk about the “highs the lows and plateaus” of a relationship and sometimes the plateaus were the hardest.  I always thought this was really insightful….as was she.

I have learnt to like the plateaus in my life and just accept them for what they are, but the lows are hard and as a creative with a very sensitive spirit these moments can really knock me for a 6.  I’m expressive and an open book so I am extremely lucky to have amazing friends back home who will always be there for me.

There are the friends who tell it like it is…

The “no bullshit YOU are better/bigger than this” kind of advice.  

The friend who is SO bloody reasonable its almost frustrating, (but you know there is truth in it).  

The friend who wants to wrap you up in cotton wool and just wants everything to be lovely.

The friend who says “visualise and reconnect with yourself, get back up again”.

Then there is my best friend, my soul sister who can almost do it all because she is Wonder Woman and I love the hell out of her and I know she loves me for all my imperfections. 

I am so lucky for every single of these precious gems that I have in my life.  I feel like my friendships and connections get richer and more valuable as time goes on.  Don’t get me wrong, I have had friends come and go and even the ones that have moved on, still hold value for me.  They have been painful break ups, there have been tears and sadness for the end of a friendship but I look back with love. They have taught me, about them and they have taught me about myself.  They were simply just there for a ‘season’ of my life.

The friends I have now know that honesty is my number one value and that we can be brutally honest with each other, even if the conversations may not be easy.  I have become more discerning with age and I know the type of person I want to surround myself with.  People who are honest, gentle but fierce, vulnerable yet brave, authentic, positive and slightly nuts.  Oh… and they usually swear quite a bit 😉 The relationships feel beautifully in balance, that we both bring things to the table and share life.

I am blessed with the kinfolk I have in my life.  

SO…..when you are in a foreign country and a low hits like a massive hurricane I need to call on the feminine spirits of my kinfolk.

Last night I had a massive cry.  I mean a BIG cry.  A cry that meant I woke up today with eyes “like piss holes in the snow”, eyes that looked like I had chubby translucent caterpillars sleeping on them.  A big cry about my life, a drama queen moment (as my ex husband would say)… a letting out, a letting go a healthy release.

I called on my sisters…..the “no bullshit” friend was in the room with me, also the “cotton wool” friend and the friend that kicks me up the ass!  You were all with me last night as I curled up and sobbed, my stomach ached, the lump in my throat numb and swollen. A purging of emotions.

I grabbed my pillows and was catastrophic for about an hour, I physically manifested all the stress that was building up in my body and let it out.  It was painful at the time, but necessary.  I completed a course about freeing yourself from emotional pain and this was something I learnt the value of. It was intense… but today I feel like I have lightened the load.  I have addressed my panic and my stress levels and I know what I need to do to make things easier.

I now know that last night was my body/heart/soul saying I need a ‘plot change’…its me saying to ‘myself’ something has to change before I snap and break.  So after a big ugly snot running crying session I have decided to make a few changes with my life and what I do with it (more about that later).

So this post is just an honest talk to myself and to say thank you to my darling friends.  Its also time to catch up with some overdue photos for you… lets go….

Its Tuesday now and I have taken the day off ‘work’ to look after myself, but I want to talk about how lucky I am to have met some awesome women here in Vietnam.  Woman that I am grateful for.


I met Phuong on the first ever trip to HCMC and I think I was the first foreigner she had every spoken to.  She was about 17 at the time and with her friend in the tourist area. We spoke for about an hour.  Her lips quivering with nerves as she practised her english….now almost 5 years later she is a confident and self assured young woman.  We catch up for coffee and talk freely and easily.  Phuong I am grateful for you. I love being silly with you, I love your sense of humour and sweet sweet nature.


On Sunday morning I met up with an inspiring woman by the name of Chi at my favourite cafe (Kujuz).  I met her via the Female Expat page her as I mentioned prior to my visit that I would like to spend 24 hours with a rural family and she messaged me.  Not only does she have an amazing family that I will be visiting this weekend (her great grandmother is almost 115 years old), but she is also in the creative arts and film.

We met for coffee and talked about all aspects of life, about women in Vietnam, culture, sex education, lifestyle and more.  We only had about 90 minutes together but I could’ve sat for hours!  Chi, I cannot wait to spend the weekend with you and your family in the Mekong Delta this weekend.

Chi, I bow my head to you.  You are one inspiring person so thank you so much for you time.


After I met with Chi I was catching up with another chick I had met via the Female Expat page.  A local by the name of Michelle.  She had lived in the US for almost 10 years and so her english is almost perfect.  I knew that we would get on like a house on fire and we did.  It was like catching up with an old friend who I could talk about ANYTHING with.  We went to the local market, did tarot for fun, I had my portrait done and we talked about men 😉  Michelle, you are a ray of sunshine.

I am coming back here with my Courage My Love leg skins for a photo!!!
Saigon Pancakes

Thinking of you Hien
This guy was doing ‘tricks’ with straws.  Or just holding them and looking at them.  I bought him a drink and some lunch

Street food.
Post office
Groom, bride and bridesmaids… had had enough

Book street
Book street
Catching some zzzz’s a very common site in Vietnam.  Your bike doubles as a bed

“I know, I will walk and look over my shoulder casually and you take a pic”

A little bit of a genius, but not a lot
Kyla I thought you would like this
Teeny tiny figurines

The tarot reader was 17, he looked about 30.

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